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Monday, June 30

hmz.. back to school today.. and realise that i don't have much time left.. as in.. for my studies.. mid august will be our prelims.. and my standard ain even reaching the O's.. i have to buck up.. really really have to.. if not i guess my first three months.. you will see me going nowhere.. haiz.. it's really frightening to think about how much time we are left to prepare.. haiz.. can i step down soon..

Heli Dont ask me why 11:12 PM

Sunday, June 29

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.

He raised a glass of water and asked the audience,

"How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

The students answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

"It does not matter on the absolute weight.

It depends on how long you hold it.

If I hold it for a minute. It is Ok.

If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,

we will not be able to carry on as the burden becoming increasingly heavier.

What you have to do is to put the glass down,

rest for a while before holding it up again."

We have to put down the burden periodically,

so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonite, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders,

let it down for a moment if you can.

Pick it up again later when you have rested.

Rest and relax. Life is short.

Heli Dont ask me why 6:38 PM

last day of hols.. tomorrow will be the beginning of the next semester.. is kind of scary if you ever notice that the time really really is passing by us fast.. every second, every minute.. very soon my prelims is going to come.. i feared prelim a lot.. and as all the teachers said, it would be twice as tough as the O's.. but it matters a lot to me.. in terms of mentality.. becoz i know, if i did badly for the prelims, it would be very difficult for me to pick myself up.. hadn't been doing well for my studies this year.. all those kind of just passed results.. can't have this attitude anymore.. i have to work really really hard in order to achieve my dreams.. i a naive person, i have big ambitions.. but i hope i am a very determined person as well.. i hope so..

Heli Dont ask me why 12:37 AM

Wednesday, June 25

i am so tired.. dun feel like commenting much.. just.. so tired..

Heli Dont ask me why 11:07 PM

Monday, June 23

Holiday Homework

A-math: PWD Exercise 1 – 6 (Paper 1 & 2)
E-math: PWD Exercise 1 – 3 (Paper 1 & 2)
Social studies: Open book test
Source-based Questions
English: 1 compo and 1 guided writing
Physic: TYS 1997 June & 1999 Dec
Chemistry: 3-4 other school papers

gosh... within 1 week..

Heli Dont ask me why 1:50 PM

Sunday, June 22

i went to church today with someone. and it did not turn out the way i expected. rock bands.. pastor talking. and i have to agree.. that pastor was great. well.. initially, the beginning of the whole process, i really was agitated.. by those songs.. i stared hard at those lyrics..and i knew my mind is playing against it..or what they call the devil..i can feel that.. i have the thought of joining.. but i fear what lies ahead.. what about my family.. my dad..? what if one day he found out..? i could still remember the first time i attended a church function few years ago.. and i walked out of in the middle of the function. there's this hatred built within me. what is it.. i couldn't figure out too. and i returned home.. feeling guilty of what i had done. yes, it's just attending some function.. and it's no big deal, but i don't know.. i entered the room today.. and already, i could feel the uncomfortable feeling.. i wanted to get out today.. like last time.. but i did not. i told myself to keep staying.. keep on.. give it a chance.. and i managed to sit through the whole thing.. i guess.. i would be part of it some day.. i know. it just a matter of time.. and what that pastor said was really true.. much as my mind tried to oppose what he said, it was in vain. and especially the phrase "the truth set me free". i don't know how to explain it all. and now.. i am confused.. i had mixed feelings. and the next question i am going to ask myself is.. am i going the next sunday..?

Heli Dont ask me why 7:17 PM

Thursday, June 19

Realise i had nothing much to post here lately.. i don't know what to write either.. people commented my blog is always full of pessimistic and sad stuffs.. i don't think it's that bad ba. plus the colour combination of the website, dampen everyone. well, i had loss for words. And i really don't have the slighest idea of what to write... maybe i shall not post anything for the time being... i don't know. I don't want history to repeat itself again. Never.

Heli Dont ask me why 7:19 PM

Wednesday, June 18

just watched the A Child's Hope show.. and those bad memories came back once more.. and as i hear the song - hai you min tian, i couldn't stop those tears from falling.. everybody has their regrets.. i had mine too.. i failed to take care of her when she's around.. and lots more.. i think.. i owe her too much. far too much. everybody told me she would be safe.. she would be happy now.. but, where is she exactly.. no one knows the answer.. i don't know either.. haix.. now i feel so restless.. i don't know what i am thinking about too..

Heli Dont ask me why 10:23 PM

Monday, June 16

wow.. another rainy day.. okay not really, rained in the morning..and again before i reached home..and i am wet twice today.. hm.. physic mock wasn't that bad afterall.. but i studied so hard and slept for few hours nia.. nvm.. then went out today again.. and reached home dead tired.. find that i lately really "old" liaox.. walked up a few stairs.. very tired.. maybe becoz these few days din sleep well ba.. and yesterday father's day.. hm.. me and bro share wang jie cd for him.. duno.. mind isn't that clear liaox.. don't want to think about those things.. so i shall concentrate on my studies.. anyway, i got no time to think too.. so much homework.. and too busy to go out.. haha.. kkx.. hope everybody in good health condition.. lately a lot of people sick, so must take good care too! those studying, must jia you also.. work hard.. play hard!!!

Heli Dont ask me why 10:35 PM

Sunday, June 15

long time never update le.. everytime want to update.. in the end didn't.. was online pratically the whole afternoon and night yesterday.. but i din want to post anything.. because i have no idea what to post.. anyway.. yesterday thought of her again.. din wanterd to.. but i couldn't put them aside.. its already more than a year.. i don't understand why i can't put them aside.. but luckily, i had good friends around me, that wouldn't abandon me when things go wrong.. and when things ain good for me.. so much so that, it lighten the sadness on my shoulder.. drain away the loneliness kept in my heart.. and to add on to yingxian's journal, the topic about friends. Actually, it doesn't matter if the friendship will last long a not.. i think the most important thing is, the friendship he/she had given is a true one.. and treasuring them is the second focus.. actually, i think fey, we are really a .. (no words can describe) group.. we come from different classes, different age.. sometimes i feel really sad when all of us were scattered.. but when we get together, eg. youcai bday, i can feel the sense of warm.. really.. that time at the playground, i had that undescribable feeling.. i know its almost impossible to last till the day we vanished from this world, so let's make the present a memorable history for the future.. Likewise to other people too.. no matter who your friend are, if they seldom talk to you, don't think he/she has forgotten you.. maybe something has happened to that person, so show that you care.. go talk to them.. make the first step.. often in life, i feel that things don't work out.. is because nobody is willing to take the first step.. be it friends.. family.. dad.. mum.. cherish them.. for who they are.. and what they have given you...

Heli Dont ask me why 10:44 AM

Wednesday, June 11

haix..homework, studies, mock.. oh my god.. this is probably the worst holiday i ever had since the day i stepped into xinmin.. boox.. juz had my chinese o's over on monday.. wasn't that bad.. find it quite easy.. but when we start checking answers..i found that i had a few wrongs..but my friends.. no mistakes at all.. so.. don't have any comments.. then this friday having ss and geog mock exam.. and i haven't study for it.. kkx.. i am a big slacker.. but just dunno why, i feel damn tired these few days.. and the day is coming soon.. argh.. i fear that day.. it's going to be terrible..painful..i duno.. i dread to pass each day.. for it's coming nearer.. duhx.. i am starting to think again.. my mind is screaming at me at those harshful damn fact.. dunno wad i am talking too.. i will shut up.. =X

Heli Dont ask me why 8:11 PM

Monday, June 9

tired..simply tired..chinese finally over..but i guess its only the first round..i think most likely i will take it again..i know the whole process is tiring..but eventually its the hardwork and effort i put in reflect on my cert..i want my cert to look nice..crap.. kkx.. today went around compass to get cai's bday present..hey..it's not easy.. especially if you have to get 16 presents.. i repeat its SIXTEEN! guess we had a little fun today, coz i am too tired to enjoy..my eyes are falling now..can't seem to see what i am typing..tmr is chem and english..and i think english prelim oral too.. have to reach school by 8.. and going to celebrate another person birthday..gosh..how come everybody is given birth in the same month???? duhx..i am counting.. still got a lot more to go..and july also a lot of people.. oh my god.. -_-'''

Heli Dont ask me why 11:11 PM

Saturday, June 7

sianx.. just now study chinese till want to peng.. duhx.. lucky got shimin here... haha.. help me give ting xie.. then we eat.. den ting xie again.. duhx.. den i write till pek chek.. coz a lot dunno how to write.. so decide to slack now.. so that's why i am online now.. and she's just sitting beside me.. boox.. anyway.. headache.. headache.. headache.. kept telling myself mux hang on.. coz only less than 50hrs only.. so must hang.. hang.. duhx.. tired.. yet.. the fear of not doing well just push me to carry on and on.. i will try and give my best shot.. really... da jia jia you worX!@~

Heli Dont ask me why 4:15 PM

kkx..i am gonna type lots of things liaox and say somethings to certain people... duhx.. here it goes....

cAi - hey.. i read ur blog.. really gives me that kind of 'lonely' feeling.. what had happened to make you till like that? don't say those words..becoz it really hurts us to see that... what are you hiding from or suffering from? open up yourself and say! you will feel very bad if you keep it within yourself... i know i said so much... it's just words.. but i seriously sincerely meant them from my heart! there are a lot of people around you that cares for you k?

yInG mI - brought you out that day.. actually i also don't know for what. just that i kept telling myself don't talk cock.. in the end i didn't.. anyway.. i find myself not so able to console people liaox.. in fact.. i think i am falling down the drain and being washed away.. duhx.. well.. like i said that day, don't keep thinking the pessimistic way.. just tell yourself to push harder in semester 2.. since you said that you din put in much effort.. i think.. those results are.. nOt bAd? oops... am i teaching you wrong again?

cAsS - hmx.. same too.. your results.. over the phone, i already mentioned.. take this as a chance to let you clinch the good progress award lorx.. hehe. and your outstanding award.. haha.... hm... actually i think you should know better than me what's the reason why your other subjects ain gd.. coz?? english ba.. hm.. since you have stabalise your english, try balancing the rest of your subjects the next half of the year.. that's what i call stepping stones to success.. you had make the first step (improving english), continue with your journey and i wished you success!

bAm - actually, i don't know why i would write here too.. hm.. know you not feeling gd these few days... i also don't know what to say.. hm.. jux to let you know you had done a good job as a teacher lorx.. don't feel bad lehx.. hope that you will cheer up lorx.. stay happy!

Heli Dont ask me why 8:41 AM

Friday, June 6

bOo..aNoTheR pErsOn bDaY lIAoX... cHou yOu cAi.. cAn wATcH NC-16 liAOx..hEY maN!haPpY bIRtHdAY!~~!hM..aLl tHe bEsT tHiS yEAR iN yOuR o'S.. eSpEcIAllY thE mOThEr tOngUE pApeR..jIaYoU wORx..sHEn rE kUaI lE!~!~

Heli Dont ask me why 10:34 PM

okay..it's friday morning at about 6 plus. Last day of school semester 1.. duhz.. i almost forgot today is the last day.. coz for the next 2 weeks.. will be having lessons till 1.30pm everyday without fail for lessons and mock.. seems like this year hols is a little bit different.. last time at least got some free days in between the holidays here and there..but this time round.. blow....actually after that SARS holiday, i thought it would be our last holidays..coz after the mock.. prelims.. after prelims.. O's.. get what i mean? anyway..to those receiving report books today, be it good or bad, the results on the book are your hardwork.. don't reprimand yourself but urge yourself to do better the next time round if you did not do well.. and for those results not so bad, tell yourself to achieve even better grades.. okie? gosh..better go liaox.. later student leaders taking photo.. hm.. hm.. hm..

Heli Dont ask me why 6:14 AM

Wednesday, June 4

heart got acute pain and then.. seem like got one vein link to my left palm then also got that acute pain.. sometimes really very pain i will suddenly stop what i doing.. den.. few seconds later not pain liao... - anyone got any idea what's this?
duhz..under lots of stress lately due to the chinese o's which is the coming monday. This is the first paper i am going to see for the O's.. and i am very very nervous.. sometimes my mind just feel very tight, very tired.. but the fear of not getting gd grades motivates me to study.. hm.. and had unusual sleeping habits lately.. most likely due to stress ba.. well.. saying all these.. don't mean to scare you guys.. but rather want to advise those taking exams.. don't exert too much stress on yourself. Do what you can.. and don't overwork. Keep yourself healthy.. do some exercise.. let your mind relax and rest after studying. Take short breaks. Don't stay up too late at night too.. sleep early and wake early.. you will feel more energetic the next day.. kkx.. everybody.. let's press on.. it's going to be over soon.. we are almost reaching our destination.. press on.. press on.. press on.. ( ' ' , )

Heli Dont ask me why 10:38 PM

Tuesday, June 3

don't feel well today.. hm.. morning failed my temperature taking 3 times.. 37.6 ... 37.6 ... (gulp down few mouths of water) 37.6 ... (drank half the bottle) 37.3 ... finally.. then during PE today.. self study.. so i went down to take a look at the inter-house game.. hm.. though i wasn't in the game.. i was equally worried about the game.. especially the last one with falcon.. what a close fight.. haha.. in the end we only won them by 1 point.. but this 1 point mean a lot to me.. find that this year.. i am focusing in many aspects.. house matters.. student leader.. studies.. npcc.. hm.. i should learn to let go.. and concentrate on my studies.. don't know why too.. i seem to have lots more passion in doing things this year.. and realize that i had more responsibilities this year than last year... mdm chua said she's going to introduce me one of her class girl.. ask me to psycho her.. coz she said i was like her last year.. face always sad and black.. and she felt that i change a lot this year to a more happier person.. actually, i had no idea what had changed me to be the way i am now.. or things did not change at all...?

Heli Dont ask me why 6:53 PM

Sunday, June 1

goshz... chinese O's in less than 7 days time.. don't feel like sitting for the paper at all.. though i studied, but i don't have the slightest bit of confidence.. stared hard at those words.. kept forcing myself i have to study even if i am tired.. because i don't want to fail.. i don't want to retake anymore.. i want to put in all my effort and get it done once and for all... bah.. really no confidence.. arhz.. how am i suppose to go about building up this confidence of mine again...? argh.....

Heli Dont ask me why 10:30 PM

hm... was thinking about yesterday's speech day.. especially the one when yixin went on stage to deliver the speech.. really admire her for her coping abilities.. good in academic as well as non-academic.. really very proud of her.. and i think she is really.. duhz.. don't know how to describe.. saw her mother enter and leave the hall yesterday... think her mum will be very proud.. outstanding indeed.. hm.. okay! think her success had inspired me to work hard.. and dream big.. read her speech yesterday.. yah.. let's all "never never never give up", "dream big", and believe we are all "born winners"!!!

Heli Dont ask me why 12:12 PM

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